Assets are the things that make us feel pretty good about ourselves. As the things that add value, what’s not to love? Liabilities on the other hand don’t ever feel very good fiscally or emotionally. Who really wants to be reminded of their credit card debt, mortgages or student loans? When it comes to the Emotional Liabilities created by the holidays, it can also be pretty discouraging.
For me, I identify with three big ones. The first is the emotional Fatigue that sets in during December. I don’t know if it is because the days are so short and grey and I’m lacking sunshine, or that it has been months since we had time off, the extra busyness of December leaves me feeling tired and a overwhelmed.
My other nemesis is Perfectionism. I strongly visualize how things should be and work really hard to achieve it, sometimes to my own detriment and creating dependence on sleep aids.
What swallows it all is Guilt. Who knew that being a parent could be so heart wrenching? The list of potential culprits is endless. Shortage of time. Missing out on the big Christmases I had as a child on the other side of the country. Not having the ‘perfect’ family. Even though some things are beyond my control I feel bad any way. I don’t think I need to tell you how this one ranks.
But there is a need for Redemption before we all crawl back into bed and pull the blankets over our heads. The joy in this work is awareness. Before you and I started this, these things were acting in our subconscious. Now working with this truth, the eternal Buddhist question applies, “This being the case, how shall I proceed?”
In the short term, it definitely means getting more than five or six hours of sleep. I’m recruiting the kids on the planning and execution of holiday preparations and events. Happily their brains are running very efficiently and propose even better solutions than I do. Cooperating with them really pays off.
Perhaps the most important change is letting going of the perfectionism and enjoying the lead up and the holidays. The happy news is that we act can to reduce our Liabilities, or increase our Assets so we’re better supported to make it all the way though December.